


Her weapon

by Your_Girl_Friday



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-06-08
Packaged: 2018-03-29 11:09:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3894151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Your_Girl_Friday/pseuds/Your_Girl_Friday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My alternation of the ending of 3x12. When Felicity tells Oliver she doesn't want to be a woman that he loves, he is torn apart. Should he be glad that she'll eventually turn to someone else who doesn't put her life at risk by just being with her or should he try and fight for her? Laurel and Barry talking some sense into both of them. Plus - Felicity/Merlyn Argument and an offer from the League of Assassins.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In bed with Malcolm Merlyn

**A/N: The ending of episode 3x12 and Felicity's little speech were annoying me ever since. I really didn't like her in this scene... and because I don't want to NOT like Felicity Smoak, I had to write something that made my Olicity heart feel better about this episode.**  
**As always I'll try to stay in character as much as possible and I really hope I'll manage to do them justice.**

**And please be gentle as english isn't my first language... If you find any mistakes - feel free to keep them! ;-)**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The CW is the author and owner of "Arrow". The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Diggle, Felicity and Roy were just watching the news in the Foundry when they heard someone descending the stairs behind them.

"Sorry that I didn't come by sooner." Oliver announced. "I just wanted to check in on Thea." He explained while Felicity had jumped from her seat, ran towards him and hugged him, relieved he was finally back and – more importantly – alive! "It's ok. I'm ok." He reassured her.

"Merlyn told us you were killed." Diggle said.

"I was close. I'm sorry that I didn't reach out sooner. I wasn't exactly in a cell service area." Oliver said while letting go of Felicity and making his way over to Diggle.

"You kept the city together…" He shook Diggles hand first, then looked at Roy. "You saved the Glades. Well done." He said and shook Roy's hand, too. His view drifted to a plastic bag on the table next to where they were standing.

"It's gift from Malcolm Merlyn. He went looking for you." Diggle explained and Roy asked "It's Ra's al Ghul's, right?"

"Yep…"

"So what are we gonna do about him?" Roy asked. "I mean, if he finds out about Thea…"

"Merlyn and I are working on that." Oliver told them and crossed his arms above his chest like he was bracing himself for the argument that was about to come. And he didn't have to wait very long…

"Sorry?" Felicity couldn't believe she heard him right. "For a second there, it sounded like you said "Merlyn"..."

"I need to know how to defeat Ra's." Oliver defended his decision. "Merlyn has the knowledge."

"Merlyn is a monster!" Felicity practically spit that one out. She was getting more and more angry. How could he come back after such a long time and one of the first things he had so say was that he would be working with Malcom Merlyn from now on. "You're in this situation, Thea is in this situation because of him!"

"Felicity…" Oliver tried to calm her down and explain why he had to do this. But she wouldn't listen…  
"No... Just a few hours ago, I stood right here, and I swore that there was no way that you would ever agree to work with Malcolm Merlyn, not EVER! I guess I was wrong about everything." She said, grabbed her coat and headed for the stairs. "I need some air. I'm glad you're not dead." She mumbled while leaving the Foundry.

The three men stood there and no one dared to speak. Oliver knew "bad", he had more experience in this area than most people. But there were few things that were worse than a furious Felicity. She was usually their anchor. HIS anchor. She stayed focused when everyone else was freaking out, stayed calm and reasonable in the worst chaos. So when you managed to make her angry – you better tried to fix the situation a.s.a.p.!

So that's what Oliver intended to do. He nodded in Digg's and Roy's direction and followed Felicity.

"Felicity!" He called when he entered the dark and wet alley behind Verdant.  
"'I need some air' really means 'I don't want to talk right now'. She answered and tried to keep her voice calm. She failed miserably.

Oliver took a few more steps in her direction. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Felicity asked and turned around to face him. "Maybe you could be a little more specific." She sounded exhausted. Defeated somehow. Like she was really done with all of this. Like she didn't want to have anything to do with "Team Arrow" anymore. Live a normal live, have normal friends, no secrets, no almost-deaths and no working with your worst enemy to defeat a 1000-year-old guy.

"For letting us believe you were dead for weeks or for abandoning every principle you claim to have by getting into bed with Malcolm Merlyn?!" This man could be so frustrating. She couldn't even revel in the fact that he was back. Of course she was glad he was alive and he returned to Starling, but this? After how they ended things before he left she thought him coming back would have a completely different outcome. He told her he loved her for god's sake! Didn't he have to say anything more about this topic once he could hold her in his arms again?!

Oliver started to walk over to her, but she held her hand up to stop him… "Uh-uh." She shook her head.

"That's not why you're upset." He suddenly understood.

"While you were gone for almost a month, I allowed myself to fantasize, to dream that maybe, just maybe Merlyn was wrong. That you were alive and that you would come back and that when you did, you would be different. That almost dying would give you a new perspective on life, that you would just do things differently."

"Things between us, you mean."

"Before you left, the last thing you said to me was that you loved me. Now you're back, and the first thing you tell me is that you are working with the man who turned your sister – a woman you're supposed to love – into a killer, who killed a woman you used to love." She looked at him and felt the tears starting to fill her eyes. "I don't want to be a woman that you love."

Oliver felt like Ra's had stabbed him with his sword all over again. Not only that had he stabbed him, he cut his heart out and let him bleed to death in the cold snow. He couldn't say anything back. He had to use all the strength that was left after his recovery from the actual 'getting stabbed by Ra's al Ghul' to stay on his feet.

Felicity turned around and walked away slowly. Basically, now would be the moment for him to say "I told you so…" because actually – he did. He told her multiple times that he wasn't good for her. That by being with him or even having feelings for him, she would end up hurt. Or worse. And now she was hurt. And it was his fault.

But somehow hearing her say it hurt him, too. He knew pain. Physical pain. He could handle physical pain. But the worst pain he had endured until now was nothing compared to the agony he was currently in. He thought this was what he wanted. He wanted her to keep a distance. To only have a platonic relationship with her like he had with Diggle, Roy and Laurel. He wanted her to be happy. Happy and safe.

"I'd say this hit home, huh?!"

He turned around to see Laurel standing on the other end of the alley. He didn't say anything. He just closed his eyes and shook his head slightly like he wanted to erase what just happened.

"She's right about everything she said…" He stated without looking at Laurel.

He heard her coming closer to him and when the clicking of her heels stopped he looked up to find her standing right in front of him. She smiled at him and hugged him. "It's good to have you back, Ollie."

Oliver returned the hug and took comfort in Laurel's embrace. When she stepped back she said "She may be right about some of it, but you should talk to her when her emotions aren't running wild anymore. She just got you back and practically the first thing you say to her is that you are joining forces with Malcom Merlyn."

"I have no other choice…"

"Maybe you don't… But you know… I'm not Malcom's biggest fan either. So I kind of understand her being upset about it." She paused for a few seconds. "That's not what bugs her most, though."

"Yeah…" Oliver sighed. "I know…"

"Oliver… I know you basically my whole life. And there was a time I knew you better than anyone else. I know you can be one stubborn idiot."

Oliver smiled at that comment and let out a small chuckle. Yeah, that could have easily come from Felicity, too.

"Don't get me wrong… With everything that happened to Sara and seeing, experiencing what you are doing every day – I get why you're pushing her away. I really do. But let me tell you this…: We are not together anymore. Tommy and my sister are dead and my father is angry at me for not telling him about Sara. The life we lead – the life YOU lead – can be very lonely. I bet you already know that. And Felicity already knows everything about you. I bet she knows more than anyone else. And she knows what she'd be in for. That you have a complicated past. That you aren't exactly chatty about your feelings…" they both smiled when Laurel said that.

Oliver could see her making a point here. Still – he refused to let himself dream of a better life. A carefree life. A life where he didn't have to be afraid his loved ones could get killed any second because someone wanted to get back at him. Felicity deserved better than him. Period!

"Right now she's hurt. She went through hell while you were gone. And when Merlyn told us you didn't make it – it made everything worse. For all of us. Until Felicity found the strength to remind us of what this mission was about. Saving people. Making Starling City a better place." Laurel took Oliver's hands. "She is strong Ollie. She can handle you…" she smiled at Oliver who looked up into the sky and let out a deep breath. "Give her some time to process this. Talk to her in a few days. You'll see it will go very differently."

Oliver looked at Laurel. Maybe she was right. His life WAS very lonely. Sure he had Thea and he had his friends but he didn't have someone to wake up next to. To just sit on the couch in the evening – given it was quiet on the streets – and enjoy each other's company. He wanted that and he wanted it with Felicity but he still wasn't sure if he could do this to her.

Then again – when she told him earlier that she didn't want to be a woman that he loved, he thought he would die right there. He felt like he couldn't breathe anymore. Like a giant rock was crushing his chest. He couldn't NOT be with her. As selfish as it was, he needed her.

"Thank you Laurel." He told her and hugged her tight. "I hope you're right about this one."

"I know I am…" She smiled, squeezed his arm and left for the Foundry.

Two days later, Felicity was hurrying down the steps into the lair. Oliver had texted her she should meet him there as soon as she could.  
  
  
**So... this was the first chapter. I hope you guys liked it and my english (especially the grammar) didn't suck too bad!**  
**Thank you for reading and stay tuned for the next chapters.**

**Love, Nina**


	2. The missing constant

**So... here comes the 2nd chapter guys...**   
**Thank you for your kind comments! I hope y'all will enjoy the new chapter... as always: comments are greatly appreciated!**

**And remember... english isn't my first language so... If you find any mistakes - feel free to keep them! ;-)**

**Love, Nina**

****************************************************************

Two days later, Felicity was hurrying down the steps of the lair. Oliver had texted her she should meet him there as soon as she could.

"What is it?" she asked nervously when she threw her purse under her table and practically jumped into her chair to get to work.

"We need to talk…" Oliver said in that eerily calm voice he was only using for bad stuff.

"Oliver you're starting to freak me out here… what's up?" She asked and stood up again, taking a few steps in his direction.

"I want to talk about what you said the other night…" He left the sentence hanging because he knew she would remember every word she had said that night.

"I don't…" She answered and turned around to reach for her purse. She was stopped in her tracks when a huge, strong, warm hand grabbed her upper arm gently.

"Please… Felicity please talk to me. I can't stand it when you don't talk."

She still didn't turn back around to face him.

"I'll beg if I have to…" He offered with a small smile.

He felt her taking a deep breath before she turned around slowly. Her eyes were brimming with tears but her face was distant. Oliver knew he had to work hard for this.

"So talk…" Her voice was weak. On the edge of breaking. Just like her eyes could barely contain the tears anymore. He wanted nothing more than to console her. It broke his heart to see her like this.

"Can I please hug you first. I can't stand seeing you like this…" He asked and opened his arms to let her decide if she was okay with it, or not.

She nodded so slightly it was barely noticeable but Oliver didn't miss the movement and embraced her gently. "I'm SO so sorry Felicity." He started. "About everything I put you through…"

He felt Felicity sob against his chest and rubbed her back with one hand, the other cupping the back of her head. She sobbed a few more times before she eventually wrapped her arms around his torso and hugged him tight. "I was so scared… I thought you were dead… I thought I had lost you forever!" She cried.

"Shhh… I'm back. I'm okay… and you'll never lose me!" He said and rested his chin on top of her head while still tracing circles on her back with one hand. "While I was recovering from my fight with Ra's I wanted nothing more than to tell you I was alive. I wanted to let you know that everything would be fine, that I would return home as soon as I was in the condition to survive the trip. But there was just no way… There are no telephone lines or mailboxes… I had no chance to contact you."

Felicity's sobs had stopped while Oliver was talking. She knew he had no possibility to get in touch with her but still – those were the worst four weeks of her entire life. She unwrapped her arms from around his body and took one step back. Oliver started to wipe away the remnants of the tears that had been streaming down her cheeks but she winced when he touched her face. "Sorry…" he said and put his hands into his pants pockets.

"Can I please explain to you why I made this decision? To work with Malcolm…"

"Go ahead…"

"I know you don't like or trust Merlyn. And neither do I… but he was part of the League for years. He knows everything about it. He knows stuff about Ra's al Ghul that nobody else knows. And he knows how members of the League fight. How Ra's fights. If I want to stand the slightest chance against him this time – I have to train with Merlyn. I have to learn from him."

During Oliver's speech Felicity went back to her chair and let herself sink back into it again. She propped her elbows up on the armrests and rubbed the back of her nose with her right thumb and middle finger. Clearly she was still upset about this.

"Please Felicity… I need you to have my back in this. I can't do it without you…" He told her and sat down on the table in front of her. He took her right hand to stop the rubbing and cupped it with both of his hands. "Do you think you can trust me on this? Support me?" When he looked her in the eyes he could see the battle she was fighting. She wanted to be there for him but she just couldn't bring herself to work with Malcolm Merlyn.

"I honestly don't know…" She finally answered. "So much has changed during those four weeks. I don't know anything anymore. I feel so lost, like I just…" Felicity was looking around in the foundry as if she was looking for something. For something that made her feel safe again. A constant that reminded her of what they were fighting for. Something she could rely on no matter what.

In the past, that constant would have always - without any doubt - been Oliver Queen. But her whole world was upside down since the day he left Starling City. Right after telling her he loved her… She looked at him with a mixture of melancholy, regret, hope and most of all – uncertainty.

"I guess I need some time to consider this whole 'Working with the man who killed Tommy along with thousands of innocent people and made Thea kill Sara' thing…"

"Okay, I understand." Oliver nodded and slid down from where he had been sitting on the table. "I just hope you'll be able trust me again one day…"

"Yeah me, too…" Felicity answered in a small voice. The realization Oliver wasn't her "save harbor" anymore pained her. She would never have thought that anything could make her lose her faith in him. But right now, that was the case. And it broke her heart.

"Maybe I should take a few days off…" she suggested without even looking up at Oliver. "I think I'll call Barry and see if I can visit them at Star Labs." Felicity stood up, grabbed her purse and headed to the stairs.

When she was two steps up the stairs, she grabbed the banister with her left hand and turned around again. "Oliver?"

"Hm?!" Oliver looked up her. He was deep in his thoughts. Knowing Felicity didn't trust him anymore – at least not the way she trusted him before – was painful. The effect this whole situation had on him was huge. He totally underestimated it. Before he left to fight Ra's al Ghul, it just felt like the right thing to say to her. That he loved her. Looking back now, he realized his timing couldn't have been worse! To her, it sounded like a promise. A promise of a better future if he would survive the fight. A promise of a life together. And maybe for Oliver it meant just the same. But he didn't realize it. And now, everything was more complicated than ever before. He didn't defeat Ra's. And by now, he would most likely know that Oliver was still alive and come looking for him in a matter of time. So he wasn't dead but he wasn't really alive, either.

"It will be fine, right?" Felicity asked. "Everything will eventually be fine again. Please, I have to hear you say it…"

Oliver's heart broke just a little more. He wanted nothing more than to tell her everything would be alright again. But to be honest – he didn't know. After all, it was her decision. If she could bring herself to forgive him - for how he left things hanging before he went to fight Ra's and for working with Merlyn – it would be better than fine. He would make sure of that! He would show her his gratitude and make up for everything he ever screwed up. But if she decided she couldn't do this anymore, it would never be even remotely okay for him.

Still, he tried his best to sound as reassuring as possible for her sake. "Everything will be fine Felicity."

******************************************************************

**Soooo... this was it... :-) I hope you enjoyed reading it and take a minute to leave me a comment. I would love to know what you guys liked or disliked about it. I want my story to grow and to do so, I need your feedback. Your comments are what keeps me going...**

**Love, Nina**


	3. Tartufo look-alike

**So, here's chapter no. 3... after all the angst and heartbreak in chapter 2, this one is a little lighter - thanks to one Mr. Barry Allen ;-) - but we're still miles away from happy Olicity moments...**

**Anyways... enjoy and maybe you can bring yourself to leave another comment... that'd be awesome!**  
  
*********************************************************

The following weekend Felicity traveled to Central City. She called Barry and asked him, if he wanted to visit the "North American Advanced Technology Fair". He told her that Star Labs was one of the biggest exhibitors, so of course he would go.

Felicity crashed at Barry's and they spent the whole weekend together. She tried her best to pretend everything was okay and avoided to talk about anything related to her late night activities back in Starling. Visiting the fair and looking at all these awesome technology managed to get her mind off this whole mess for a little while. She forgot everything while strolling through the aisles and exploring the incredible inventions the exhibitors presented at their stands.

On Sunday Barry and Felicity met Iris and Eddie for lunch before Felicity would had to leave Central City in the afternoon. They talked and laughed and ate and everything seemed perfectly fine. Except Barry didn't buy any of this.

When Iris and Eddie left and hugged Felicity goodbye, Barry decided to stay just a little longer until it was time to take Felicity to the train station. They ordered desert and while Barry practically inhaled his ice cream, Felicity was picking at her Tartufo until it was just a sorry little picture of misery.

"Okay… Spill!" He demanded all of a sudden whilst throwing his spoon into the now empty bowl.

"Excuse me?" Felicity asked after she almost choked on a tiny bite of her desert because Barry caught her totally off guard.

"The whole weekend you tried to avoid talking about anything related to Starling City. And I let it go because I thought you'd eventually open up. I never thought you would be able to remain silent for such a long time! But you're looking a lot like your Tartufo does now, ever since you stepped out of that train two days ago so… Tell me what's going on!"

Felicity looked down at her food and the ghost of a smile flew across her lips. "That bad?" She asked while looking up from under her lashes.

"Worse!" Barry smiled. "Tell me Felicity… What's wrong?"

Felicity thought about where to start… So she began with what was most prominent in her mind and was bugging her the most. "Oliver told me he loved me…"

If she wouldn't have been as miserable as she was, she would have taken out her cell phone to capture Barry's facial expression in this very moment. It looked hilarious. ' _Excuse me, I'm totally lost here... I really don't get why you're upset about that, please explain further!_ ' was practically written on his forehead. In capitals. With flashing neon signs around it.

"Um… I'm sorry but I would have assumed that this would make you happy. What am I missing here?!" He finally asked, confusion all over his face.

"He told me right before he left to fight against Ra's al Ghul…"

"He did what?"

After Felicity told Barry everything about the duel and Oliver almost dying she had to pause for a few minutes. Talking to someone about all of this helped, though. She felt lighter than she had ever since Oliver returned to Starling City.

"So… Oliver fought this "Ra's a Ghol" guy…"

"It's Ra's al Ghul…" Felicity corrected.

"Whatever… he's a dick with a stupid name…" Barry huffed and Felicity smiled. He had a point there.

"He fought 'Mr. Stupid name' – I'm sorry, Cisco could come up with a way better nickname – almost died but got saved, recovered and returned home. And you are upset because…?"

The worst part of her story was yet to be told, so she took a few deep breaths and went on.

"You know Malcom Merlyn?" she asked him and grimaced while saying Merlyn's name.

"Heard of him… also a dick as far as I know…"

Felicity really liked Barry… he was so carefree and always said what he was thinking. AFTER he thought about how to get it out right... Something Felicity had to learn a.s.a.p.!

"Well, your sources are very reliable! He IS a dick! He was responsible for the undertaking of the Glades last year – killing his own son in the process was collateral damage – and he's the father of Oliver's sister Thea. Who he first trained to fight, then drugged her and made her kill Sara." Felicity explained. "That's the short version…"

"Wow… Mr. Nice Guy, huh…" Barry smiled a small, sad smile. With a guy like this involved, he knew Felicity's story would not have a particularly happy ending… at least not for now.

"Yup… and now Oliver wants to work with him…" she left the sentence hanging and watched Barry's features. He looked as surprised as she did when she first learned about Oliver's plan. But not for long… he seemed to develop some kind of understanding. How could he understand something as unthinkable as that?!

"And why does he want to work with him?" he asked a very confused Felicity. "You know, when I am 'The Flash' I sometimes have to do things I wouldn't normally do or work with people I don't really trust in order to capture a meta human on the loose." He tried to explain and Felicity began to understand what he wanted to say. "Sometimes there's just not enough time to contemplate every option, so you have to settle with the one that's right in front of you. I mean, if Oliver chooses to give someone the benefit of the doubt he has to have a reason for that…"

"He thinks Merlyn is his only chance to defeat Ra's. You know, Merlyn was a member of the League of Assassins for years… Oliver thinks training with him is the only way…" Felicity looked down. Somewhere in her mind she thought that maybe Oliver was right. Maybe he had to work with one devil, to defeat another. But she didn't want to choose the first available option. She wanted to think about it and consider every possible way, no matter how unrealistic…

"And you disagree?"

Felicity's head was about to explode. She didn't know what to think anymore, she didn't know how she felt… about Oliver being back alive, about Oliver working with Merlyn, about Oliver… This whole mess was so frustrating! "I don't know, okay…" she finally blurted out and buried her head in her hands.

"The guy tells me he loves me right before he takes off to 'god knows where' to fight one of the deadliest, cruelest, creepiest, oldest men in history. He vanishes for FOUR weeks… without any sign about whether he's alive, dead, injured… Then he comes back and the first thing he tells me is that he's going to work with Malcom Merlyn… of all people!" Tears started to run down Felicity's cheeks. She sniffed and wiped them away with the back of her right hand.

"The whole time he was gone, I felt like he had taken my heart with him. I felt incomplete, there was this hole inside of me… I was so afraid that something bad had happened to him. That he would never come back, that I wouldn't be able to hug him ever again…" she got silent. With a small, shaking voice she added "…that I wouldn't get the chance to say it back…"

Barry knew what she was talking about. He reached across the table and took her hand. With his thumb he traced small circles on the back of her hand and squeezed it gently. "But you still have the chance…" he said with a reassuring smile.

"I don't know… I mean, what's the point?!" Felicity shrugged. "When he returned and I got to hug him, and knew he was safe and well, I thought maybe he changed his mind about us. About this whole 'the only way to keep you safe is to not be with you' crap…" she said the last part in a deep voice that she hoped would sound even remotely like Oliver's.

Barry chuckled. "That was the worst impression of Oliver's voice EVER…!"

Felicity smiled. Barry's lightheartedness was contagious. She used to be just like him. But that seemed like it was ages ago. Lately the whole atmosphere was so tense… all this unspoken things, the wishful thinking… it was all hovering above her like a thick, dark cloud that threatened to crush her. She wanted her lightheartedness back! She wanted her work to be thrilling again. Wanted being around Oliver feel exciting again. She wanted her broken 'brain-to-mouth' filter back, her rambling, Oliver's hidden smiles…

"I feel like I can't rely on him anymore, Barry." Felicity admitted. "I would have never thought he would work with this man… ever! I feel like I don't know him as well as I thought. Like I don't know him at all anymore."

"Felicity Meagan Smoak – listen to me! If there is one thing in this world you can be 100 percent sure about, it's that Oliver Queen would never let anything happen to you. No matter what… If you are friends, if you are together, if you are with someone else, talking, not talking… it doesn't matter! He would do anything in his power to protect or to save you!"

"I used to know that Barry… I knew that I could always count on him. But now…"

"You still can Felicity. Underneath all his crap he's still the same person. The same person he only allows to be seen by you. You think you don't know anything anymore and you think you don't know if you still want whatever it is you two have together… But I know you do. You are hurt by everything that's happened and you wouldn't be you if that wouldn't have affected you at all. But this awful feeling of uncertainty, of not knowing how you feel or what to do – it'll pass. You and Oliver – you'll work it out. You are a great team, you just have to be honest with each other…"

"You really think that?" Felicity asked him, her voice still small and weak but with a hint of hope now…

"Yes I do! You wanna know why?" Barry smiled at her. "Because this awfully stubborn guy is head over heels in love with you. And you fell for him the second he walked into the IT department with a swiss-cheese version of a laptop." Both of them chuckled. "He once told me that 'Guys like us don't get the girl'. But it doesn't have to be that way… not for him. And if his head wouldn't be so far up his ass he'd see that, too."

Felicity smiled the first genuine smile in a long time. "Thank you Barry…" she leaned over the table and kissed him on the cheek. Out of the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse at the huge clock hanging on the wall left to them.

"OMG Barry, my train is leaving in 5 minutes… I'm gonna miss it…!" Felicity yelled, jumped from her seat and grabbed her purse and coat.

Barry took his time to get up and when Felicity shot him a look that translated to "What the f*** are you doing, hurry up!" he just smirked and said "Don't worry, we'll be at the train station 'in a flash'."  
  
 ******************************************

**Thank you guys for reading! I think the next chapter will be ready this weekend...**   
**Your comments would be greatly appreciated!**

**Love, Nina**


	4. Droplets of sweat

**Guys... thank you for your kind reviews! I really appreciate them and love how passionate some of you are.**   
**Here is the next chapter. I think there well be two more chapters to come.**

**I really hopw you'll enjoy this... as always - english is not my first language so if you find any mistakes feel free to keep them! ;-)**   
**Reviews are always appreciated and will be answered!**

**Love, Nina**

  
*****************************************************

Barry made sure Felicity didn't miss her train and hugged her goodbye at the platform.

The ride home was quiet and Felicity had time to think. About everything that had happened, everything she had said to Oliver, what he asked of her and about the talk she just had with Barry.

How has her life gotten so complicated?! After she graduated college and found a job, she got up in the morning, went to work, came home, ate dinner, watched some TV or read a book and went to bed. It was easy… it was also pretty lame - she had to admit.

And she could easily have all of this back. She would just have to quit Team Arrow. Simple as that… But was that really what she wanted? Going back to being invisible. To a life with zero social interactions whatsoever aside from work. A life without Diggle, Roy… a life without Oliver?! Was that even an option? NO!

She didn't want a life without him or anything even remotely related to her work for Team Arrow. For once in her life, she felt like what she did mattered. She may have told Oliver that she didn't want to be a woman that he loved – she didn't even know if that was true to be truly honest – but she wanted to be a woman in his life. By his side, as a partner. Working together, helping him safe the city and the people living in it. That was what she wanted.

When she was back in Starling City she didn't go home right away. She decided to stop by the foundry first to check if everything was alright.

She passed through the alley behind Verdant where memories of her conversation with Oliver came up again. With some distance and a new perspective on things, she felt like she might have reacted a little bit too harsh…But it didn't change the fact that she really hated being around Merlyn or having to work with him.

Felicity opened the heavy steel door to the foundry and was greeted by the familiar metallic sound of Oliver working out on the salmon ladder. ' _Great_ …' she thought. ' _I hope he's not expecting a decision from me just yet_ …'

When she walked down the stairs Oliver heard the clicking of her heels and let himself drop down from the middle of the ladder. Because of the height he was dropping down from, he had to land in a squatting position and steady himself with one hand, while holding the iron bar he was using to climb up, in the other. He was breathing fast.

Felicity had to swallow… seeing him crouched down like that… the position he was in looked so powerful, so masculine. He looked up at her. "You are back…" He said with a mixture of relief and joy while he started to come up slowly, putting the iron bar back where it belonged and taking a few steps in her direction.

This was not helping AT ALL! Oliver was shirtless, he was still breathing fast and the muscles in his unbelievably built upper body looked more defined than ever from working out mere seconds before. His face and chest were covered in sweat and Felicity's eyes followed one drop that ran down from his jaw, along his throat, over his chest and his abs…  _'My gosh, those abs…'_  she thought, swallowed, closed her eyes and shook her head with the slightest movement, like she wanted to get rid of that image and the path that it would be taking in her thoughts.

How was she supposed to stay mad at him if he looked like this?!

"Um… Yes... I'm back." She managed to say without starting to drool. "You sound surprised…"

"No… I mean I really hoped you would come back after the weekend, but I couldn't be sure of it…" he admitted while grabbing a towel. He dried off his torso and wrapped it around his neck before grabbing one side of it to clean his face.

' _Thank god, no more distracting droplets of sweat which could take dangerous paths in my mind…_ ' she thought and looked up at him again.

When she looked at his face, she froze. His facial expression was something between amusement, relief, happiness and hope. This was weird… it would be weird enough for Oliver to look like this when everything between them was fine, but now… They weren't exactly on great terms ever since he came back, why would he…

OH NO! Felicity covered her mouth with both hands and her eyes widened in shock. Oliver chuckled once before losing the towel and putting on a grey V-neck shirt that laid on Felicity's chair. She closed her eyes and shook her head.

"Please tell me I didn't say that out loud…" she pleaded in a small voice, muffled by her hands, forcing one eye open to a slit only to squeeze it shut again a second later.

Chuckling one more time, Oliver told her "Felicity… open your eyes please."

"Do I have to? Can't I just wait for the ground to open and swallow me up?"

"I've known you for two years now, Felicity. I know how your mouth works – and yes, I realize that this was also an innuendo. I wouldn't have said anything about it, if you hadn't realized it yourself. Now…"

Felicity felt Oliver grab her wrists gently and take her hands away from her mouth. She winced a little at the unexpected contact. "Open your eyes…" he finished his sentence.

She opened her eyes slowly and almost jumped. Oliver's face was only inches away. Felicity could have easily kissed him right now, without even having to take a step forward. She looked into his eyes and was lost for a moment. In this very second she wanted nothing more than to be a woman that he loved. To be THE woman that he loved. The one. His 'the one'. But she knew she couldn't have that. So she closed her eyes one more time, took a deep breath and a step back, before she opened them again.

Oliver's heart was racing. He was fighting his inner battle again and he didn't know for how much longer he would have the strength to keep fighting. Being so close to her… it nearly killed him. It reminded him of when he kissed her in the hospital…. These few seconds that felt like heaven on earth. Like freedom. Like home. All of a sudden, she closed her eyes and stepped back from him. He wanted to stop her. To hold her to him, press their bodies against each other. But he couldn't.

The moment was over and he didn't know if he should be glad or disappointed.

"Yes – to answer your previous question – I'm back." Felicity told him after regaining her composure.

"Did it help?"

"I don't really know. I guess it did… talking to Barry and hearing his take on everything helped. And of course visiting the "North American Advanced Technology Fair" was great. I managed to not think about you, or Ra's or Merlyn for a few hours which was truly refreshing."

"That's… great, Felicity… it really is." Oliver put on his fake smile and tried to sound happy for her, but neither did he succeed, nor did this whole mess require either one of them to be happy.

"Listen, Oliver… I know we have a lot to talk about. But not today, okay?! For now – after regaining some perspective over the weekend – I'm just happy you are alive and came back home." She told him and squeezed his arm lightly.

Oliver almost winced at the sudden contact but managed to hold still. After how they ended things before the weekend he didn't see this one coming. But he was so happy that she didn't seem to be as angry and disappointed than she was a few days before.

"Of course… you had an exhausting trip. Go home and rest, we'll see each other tomorrow."

"Thank you…" she said and turned to leave. "And Oliver…"

"Hm?" Oliver raised his eyebrows and looked at her.

"Don't 'fake-smile' me, okay? You don't have to pretend, you know…" she smiled – a small but genuine smile – at him, which he returned before she left the foundry.

That night, Oliver had one of his flashback-y nightmares.

_He was in Maseo's house, sitting at the dining room table, deep in his thoughts. He looked at the picture of Laurel he carried with him ever since the Gambit went down. It was bleached out, the margins were crinkled and one corner was missing. But he never lost it. He held on to it because it was the only thing that reminded him of home. Of a better life. Of being human._

_Maseo's wife, Tatsu, entered the room. Oliver didn't move but of course he noticed her coming in. His trained senses wouldn't miss anything these days._

_"_ _Who is this?" Tatsu asked, pouring both of them a cup of tea and sat down next to Oliver._

_Oliver smiled a half sad, half nostalgic smile. "This is Laurel. We were together once."_

_"_ _She's beautiful and she has kind but strong eyes." Tatsu said after taking a closer look at the woman in the picture._

_"_ _Yes… I didn't treat her like she deserved, though." Oliver said thoughtfully._

_"_ _What did you do?"_

_"_ _Well… I cheated on her. Multiple times. You know I came to Lian Yu because my father's boat went down, right?" Oliver asked Tatsu, who nodded in confirmation. "I took Laurel's sister on the boat with me. Laurel didn't know anything about it…"_

_"_ _Did you love her? Laurel…" Tatsu asked while sipping her tea._

_"_ _Yes…" Oliver's answer came without hesitation. "I loved her. I think I still do. But even if I would ever come back to Starling City – it would be too late."_

_"_ _It's never too late for love, Oliver. If you still love her and she still loves you, it's never too late to right ones wrongs."_

_"_ _I don't know. I really hurt her. I rejected her – not directly, but indirectly – many times." Oliver thought about how Laurel wanted to move in together. Every time she found an apartment or a house she wanted to take a closer look at, Oliver managed to think of a million other things he had to do first, only to avoid the subject._

_"_ _But you've changed... You are not the man you once were." Tatsu pointed out._

_"_ _That doesn't mean she can forgive me for lying to her, for rejecting her, for not putting her first."_

_"_ _If you can proof to her that you are a changed man, I'm sure she'll forgive you eventually. Love is strong Oliver. Love can conquer anything. Have a little faith. I'm sure it will be worth it."_

When Oliver woke he was covered in sweat. He remembered that day. And he remembered how he wished he'd get the chance to be with Laurel again one day. How he hoped Tatsu was right.

Now it was a different woman but everything else was just the same. He rejected Felicity many times… maybe TOO many times. He didn't put her first when she deserved nothing but. And he wanted to show her, proof to her, that he had changed. He wanted to have faith – in her, in them – and he knew if she would give them another chance it would be worth it.

Still, he was scared of what being with Felicity would mean for her safety. She would be a target to all of his enemies. He could only hope he, Diggle and Roy would be able to protect her.

Later that day, Oliver met his teammates in the foundry. Felicity would be joining them in about 30 minutes because she had to stay at work a little longer.

  
Four hours ago in Felicity's office:

"Knock knock…" Felicity looked up from her tablet to see Ray standing in the door to her office. "Can I come in?"

"Well… technically you don't really have to ask because this is your company, but yes… come in."

Ray smiled at her and came to sit on her desk. "How was your weekend?"

"Um… it was nice, thank you. And thanks again for letting me go home early last Friday. I really needed some time away from this city."

"Every time. I know you're working hard every day so there's really no reason to deny you to leave work early every once in a while."

Felicity smiled at Ray and tried to read his features. Something about him seemed off today. She was still busy figuring out what it was when he asked… "Felicity… do you want to go to dinner with me tomorrow night?"  
  
************************************

**That was it my lovelies...**   
**Thank for taking the time to read it... I would be beyond grateful if you could also take a minute or two to leave me a quick review which I WILL answer! :-)**

**Love, Nina**


	5. GQ-covermodel-handsome

**So guys... After being sick as hell and working my ass off to get everything ready for our new kitchen, I'm finally able to upload the next chapter. I hope you still like the story and as always I really hope my English doesn't suck too badly as it's not my first language.**

**Enjoy the chapter and PLEASE take a few seconds to leave a comment. Thank you...**

  
**************************************************************

  
"Excuse me?" she didn't see this coming.

"I know, this is totally inappropriate since I'm your boss and I've heard the rumors about you and Oliver but…" he left the sentence hanging and waited for Felicity's answer.

Felicity didn't really know what to say, though. She liked Ray, she really did. And five weeks ago, she would have said yes in a matter of seconds. But ever since Oliver told her he loved her, she couldn't shake the spark of hope that was glowing inside of her. She knew this was silly.

She closed her eyes and said "I can't believe I'm going to say this but…" she opened her eyes again and looked at Ray. "I can't go out with you Ray. I'm sorry, I wish I could but I'm still kind of hung up on someone else…" she admitted.

"I see…" Ray nodded. "Oliver?!"

Felicity didn't answer. She didn't have to. "I'm really sorry. I mean, you are very handsome – like… VERY handsome… GQ cover model handsome…" Ray chuckled at that… "And you are smart and funny and under any other circumstances you would be perfect for me, but… I can't."

"I don't know if actually being perfect for you but just not perfect enough should make me feel any better, but I understand."

"Really?"

"Yes… I understand. I just hope he appreciates you the way you deserve and makes you happy." Ray smiled a little smile and got up, making his way out of Felicity's office.

"Ray? You're not going to fire me now, are you?"

Ray laughed. "Didn't you just say I was smart? How smart would it be to fire my best employee?"

*********************************

When Felicity opened the door to the foundry, she froze. She heard a loud argument and one of those voices let her shiver. _'Malcom Merlyn…'_ she thought and considered turning on her heels and go home. She decided against leaving, though.

She made her way downstairs where she saw Oliver und Merlyn argue about something she couldn't pay less attention to. The only thing on her mind was telling Malcom what she thought of him.

Oliver saw Felicity at the foot of the stairs and tried to end his argument with Merlyn. The other man was just talking on and on about how Oliver wasn't even close to being able to defeat Ra's al Ghul.

"What is HE doing here?" Felicity asked when she was standing right next to Oliver and Malcom. Diggle and Roy were keeping an eye on the computer screens but when Diggle heard Felicity coming down the stairs, he rose from his seat and made his way over to the scene just in time to stand right behind her when she confronted Oliver.

Diggle was towering behind her. He felt a strong need to protect this fragile woman and it wasn't just because he used to be a bodyguard for years. These people were his family now. Aside from Lyla and Sara, of course. He would do anything in his power to protect them.

"He came to discuss our strategy. Although the discussion is over now…!" He glared at Merlyn.

"Oliver, you are a fool if you believe you can do it that way…"

"I believe he said the discussion was over!" Felicity hissed.

Malcom looked at Felicity with a smug, arrogant smile plastered on his face.

"Make no mistake Mr. Merlyn. I do not trust you the slightest bit. I wouldn't trust you to take out my trash!" Oliver and Diggle smiled at that. "And if Oliver told you he has nothing more to say to you – you should leave."

"Felicity Smoak… Brave, smart, caring Felicity Smoak." Malcom looked down at her… "Oliver needs me. He needs my help with this or he will die. If he believes otherwise he's just plain naïve. And you are just as naïve if you think, you can put me in my place." Again, he smirked at Felicity with an arrogance that made her want to throw up here and now.

"Malcom Merlyn…" She tried to talk with the same smug attitude as Merlyn. "Father of the year… No… father of the century! Killed his son and turned his daughter into a killer who murdered his son's girlfriend's sister. Gee, I can't imagine why they haven't named a kindergarten after you yet."

Malcom showed no reaction to the mentioning of his children whatsoever. He remained the ice-cold killer that he was… "Ra's al Ghul is the most dangerous man you can imagine and you really think Oliver can beat him on his own? Or with Thea's help? I trained Thea myself and I know how good she is but the two of them will die if they fight Ra's without my help."

Felicity took a step closer to Merlyn and said in a low and very calm voice "Maybe Ra's al Ghul is the most dangerous man on earth, but you are the most devious one! So unless Oliver says otherwise – this conversation and your need for being here is over."

Diggle looked from Felicity to Merlyn and back to Felicity. If he had not known better he would have thought Felicity had to deal with cold-blooded killers and members of the League of Assassins all the time. She showed no sign of fear or uncertainty. She was strong, brave and she stood her ground. And by the look on Oliver's face he just thought the same thing. Diggle was sure – if Oliver wouldn't have already been head over heels in love with Felicity he would have fallen for her right now.

"I know Oliver made this decision on his own – god knows why…" she shot him a withering stare when she said that… "but that's not how we normally work down here. We discuss things. We think of other options. We talk to each other and decide together. So that's what we are going to do now. Discuss if YOU – of all people – are our best, our only, option to kill Ra's al Ghul. Until this decision is made – you are dismissed."

Oliver admired Felicity more than ever. She looked fierce, strong, fearless. Right now, in this very moment, he knew that they could make it work. That she wasn't so fragile after all. At least not on the inside. He didn't know if they could find another option here but he let it be. He didn't want to disagree with her in front of Merlyn. And maybe – she even was right. Maybe he wouldn't have to disagree with her after all. If anyone would be able to find another way – it was Felicity.

"Well… It seems I was wrong about you Miss Smoak. Not only are you naïve… you are just a silly little girl with a crush on an equally naïve wannabe vigilante who…"

"ENOUGH!" Oliver yelled. He couldn't stand this any longer. He was beyond proud of Felicity for standing up against Merlyn. She was never afraid to tell people what she thought of them. That was one thing he loved about her. But enough was enough! Malcom had no right to say she was 'just a silly little girl with a crush' on him. She was everything BUT silly! She was one of the smartest, most reasonable and most realistic people he knew.

Felicity jumped when Oliver interrupted Merlyn. His voice was low, like a growl. A really loud growl. It reverberated from the walls of the foundry and through her whole body. The look on his face left no room for interpretation. He looked dangerous. Like a predator defending his territory. Why Malcom didn't pee his pants right there remained a mystery to her.

After a few deep breaths Oliver seemed to have regained his composure and said in a calm voice "Malcom… I think it would be best if we talked another time. Would you please leave now?" It wasn't really a question, though. The two men stared at each other for a few more seconds before Malcom nodded and left the foundry.

Diggle put a reassuring, protective hand on Felicity's shoulder. "Well… seems like you got everything handled perfectly." He squeezed her shoulder lightly while smiling at Oliver whose eyes were fixated on Felicity's face. He seemed to be in awe… hypnotized. Diggle knew what to do in this moment. "Roy…" he addressed the young man who was still looking at the computer screens like nothing had happened. "You coming?"

Roy looked puzzled. "Huh? Why?"

"You coming with me… patrolling."

"But the streets are clear… nothing's happening out there…" he said while shrugging his shoulders.

"ROY! Now!" Diggle commanded, looking back and forth between Oliver and Felicity.

"Oh…" Roy finally understood. "Yes… I'm coming. We need to check… something… anything… I think we'll find something we can check out…" he said while grabbing his jacket and leaving the foundry with Diggle.

Minutes could have passed since Roy and Diggle left. Or hours… they didn't know. And neither of them seemed to care. They still faced each other without saying a word. Finally, Oliver spoke up.

"Felicity… you really are – and always will be – remarkable! Talking to Merlyn like that…"

"I had to get this off my chest! This man makes me furious! He doesn't have ANY sense of what's right and what's wrong… Urgh…!" Felicity threw her hands in the air and stormed past Oliver to let herself fall onto her chair.

"You were amazing, you know that? No… you ARE amazing." Oliver told her while turning around to face her again.

A smile formed on Felicity's lips. The way Oliver was looking at her right now sent shivers up and down her spine. His gaze was intense, his eyes were burning right through her. She knew she couldn't do this much longer. Keeping a distance between Oliver and herself. She said she didn't want to be a woman that he loved but she also knew she couldn't help how she felt. How he made her feel.

The butterflies in her stomach every time she thought of him. The tingling of her skin whenever he touched her. The dizziness in her head when he looked at her. She swore to herself that she didn't want to feel that way anymore. But she was helpless. They were drawn to each other like magnets. Neither he, nor she could fight it.

They looked each other in the eyes for a few seconds once again.

"Ray asked me to go out with him!" Felicity blurted out all of a sudden. _'Where the hell did that come from?'_ she asked herself. Oliver looked like he got kicked in the stomach. He needed a few seconds to regain control over his facial expression and wear his trademark blank _'I'm a billionaire playboy – what do I care?'_ mask.

"Um… I'm sorry, I…" Felicity got up and took a few steps towards Oliver who just raised a hand in a defensive manner. "No, it's okay Felicity. You don't owe me any explanations or apologies."

"I know. And I don't want to explain or apologize. I don't know why I just told you that. You know my mouth is faster than my brain most of the time." Oliver smiled a little at that. Again – one of the many things he loved about her.

"Oliver? Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, everything…"

"What did Malcom mean earlier when he said you'd be a fool if you believed you could do it that way?"

Oliver smiled, sat down on Felicity's desk and folded his hands in his lap. "I told him that it wasn't right to decide our next steps on my own. I said that I would discuss our options with my team and that I would let him know if we still needed him or if we try and do it our way." He looked up at her now. She had to fight the tears.

"You did?" Felicity was relieved and touched. So she wasn't wrong about everything after all.

Oliver got up from his place on the desk and walked over to her. "You were right Felicity – like always." He smiled at her and she returned the smile. "We will find a way to defeat Ra's together. As a team. Will you help me?"

One tear ran down her cheek, she couldn't help it. She was so glad that their argument seemed to be coming to an end and that he realized he should have talked to the team first. She wiped the tear away with the back of her hand and pushed her glasses up. A habit she acquired whenever she was nervous.

"Of course I will." She stated and smiled at him. "I'm glad you came to your senses."

"Me, too." Oliver replied. "It's pretty hard not to see you are doing something wrong when you are the one pointing it out." They both chuckled.

"So... what now?" Felicity asked and looked up at him from under her lashes.

"Oliver?" a male voice came from the dark space under the stairs that led to the exit of the foundry.

Oliver was in full fighting mode in a heartbeat. He pushed Felicity behind his back. "What the hell are you doing here and what do you want?" He growled.  
  
 **************************************************************************

**So… this was it…! Did you like it? I really hope so! Please let me know what you think in a short comment… they are more than appreciated!  
**

**Love, Nina**


	6. See you soon

**So… I just re-watched ep 3x22 of Arrow and WOW! This show is awesome! I can't wait for Season 4! But that's still at least 3 months away. So, to keep my Olicity-heart happy in the meantime - here's my next chapter of "Her weapon"…  
  
** **Enjoy and feel free to leave a word or two in the comments below… they are more than appreciated!**   
  
***************************************************** ****  


"Oliver, who is this?" Felicity whispered from behind his back when neither Oliver nor whoever was down here with them, said a word for at least 10 seconds.

"Masseo! What do you want?" Oliver growled again.

Felicity saw a man step out from under the stairs. She immediately knew that he was a member of the league. The long black coat, the black boots and the black hood along with the blank, deadly stare on the man's face told her everything she had to know. And she was freaking out. Right now, she had a good old panic attack! The only thing that kept her from running, screaming, and/or fainting was the fact that Oliver was protecting her.

He was shielding her with his body. His left arm was wrapped around her in a protective manner and she was grabbing onto his biceps for dear life. In this moment she realized that Barry had been right. When she visited him in Central City, Felicity had told him she didn't know if she could rely on Oliver anymore because of this whole Merlyn-mess.

_"Felicity Meagan Smoak – listen to me! If there is one thing in this world you can be 100 percent sure about, it's that Oliver Queen would never let anything happen to you. No matter what… If you are friends, if you are together, if you are with someone else, talking, not talking… it doesn't matter! He would do anything in his power to protect or to save you!"_

Now, Felicity knew that Barry had been right! This situation proofed it. In a heartbeat, Oliver had maneuvered himself in front of Felicity and now, that she was standing behind his muscular back, she felt perfectly safe. Any doubts were vanished from her brain like they never even existed. And she loved that!

"My master sent me." Masseo answered Oliver's question. Oliver's body tensed and Felicity assumed he was talking about Ra's al Ghul. She shivered. If Ra's knew that Oliver was alive, he was in great danger. Her heart was racing…

"What does he want?"

"He just wants to talk to you. I can assure you, you will be brought back here unharmed once he submitted his offer to you."

"What offer?"

"I don't know anything about it and even if I did – I am not allowed to tell you." Masseo stated. "You will be picked up in two hours." Seeing Felicity's face behind Oliver's left shoulder and her worried expression he added… "You won't be gone for long." With that, he disappeared into that dark space again.

When Oliver loosened his grip around Felicity's waist she stepped out from behind his back. Her right hand rested on his left upper arm and with her left hand she grabbed his wrist. She was still shaking slightly. "How was it possible for him to come in here? And how the hell did he just get out? I know for a fact, that there's no secret door underneath that stairs!"

"It's the league, Felicity. They have their ways." Oliver was still tense. His whole body was tied up in knots.

"What do you think he wants from you?" Felicity asked in a small voice.

"I don't know…" Oliver answered and for the first time since Masseo appeared, he looked at Felicity again. He was scared, she could see it in his eyes. He let her see it. Like he always did. He looked down at her hands. The one that rested on his upper arm and the one that grabbed his wrist. The ghost of a smile flew across his face but she didn't miss it.

Felicity studied his features. She couldn't remember how she could have thought she couldn't trust this man anymore. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't find one reason not to trust him with her life. While she was drowning in his handsome face and relishing the feeling of safety and complete trust, Oliver's gaze wandered from her hands up her arms, to her face and her beautiful eyes. Both of them were lost in that moment, before Felicity saw something in Oliver's eyes snap back into place, causing him to look away.

She knew his carefully built walls were back up and she knew why. He didn't trust Masseo's promise the league would bring him back unharmed. So he shut her out again, trying to protect her from any sort of pain in case something happened to him. But that was impossible. Even if they would still be fighting – the second something happened to Oliver, Felicity would be heartbroken.

But she decided to let it go. There was no point in starting another argument right now. Then again…

"I'm coming with you!" She announced all of a sudden.

Oliver, who was pacing back and forth in front of the med table by now, stopped in his tracks and his head snapped up to look at her. "Absolutely not!"

"Oliver…"

"NO, Felicity! There is no way I'm taking you with me!" He walked over to her and grabbed her shoulders. "This is too dangerous!"

"But this man said…" Felicity tried to reason with him.

"Masseo and I have history. He saved my life a few years ago. When I was in Hong Kong, I used to live with him, his wife Tatsu and his son Akio. And now, he's with the league and would kill me without hesitation if necessary. I cannot trust him anymore…!"

"Then trust me!" Felicity pleaded. "Trust me that I know what I'm getting myself into. I know you are scared what could be happening and…"

"I DO trust you Felicity. I trusted you to keep my secret when I barely knew you and I'm trusting you with my life now. But I know what these men are capable of and I don't trust them! And yes – I'm scared. But I'm not scared of what they could do to me… I'm scared of what me going to Nanda Parbat could do to you…"

Felicity threw her arms around Oliver's neck. She hugged him as tightly as she could. "I will be fine, Oliver. We will be fine…" she told him, knowing very well what he meant. "It won't be like last time. You will come home, I will be happy, everything will be fine!"

He wrapped her arms around her waist, pressing her against his body. He wanted to remember this feeling. If Masseo told him the truth and Ra's would let him return to Starling City, he wanted to do things differently. Like it had been supposed to be last time. "Thank you…" he whispered.

His head was buried in the crook of her neck and his lips were lingering millimeters above her skin. She shivered. She could feel his breath and her heart started beating faster again. His arms were still wrapped securely around her waist and she loved that feeling. When she remembered that they have been standing like this for much longer than appropriate – since they weren't dating and probably never will be – she backed away.

Oliver didn't want to let her out of his arms so soon, but he knew he couldn't just hold on to her. This moment had been weird enough as it was, he didn't need to add some extra weirdness by holding her against her will.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but you should probably go…" Felicity said. "Just please come home unharmed!" She added and moved one hand from his shoulder to his cheek. He let himself lean into the touch the slightest bit, but she felt it. Their mutual attraction wasn't a secret anymore but other than a few rare circumstances Oliver didn't let himself act out on it. So she decided to cherish every time he did. Like now. Letting her hug him, hugging her back, leaning into her touch. She didn't know if it was because of he had to go to Nanda Parbat to face Ra's al Ghul or if there was another reason, but she didn't mind.

"Yes, I have to go. And I will do everything in my power to return as soon as possible. But you know…"

"…you don't make promises you don't know for sure you can keep. Yes, I know…" She finished his sentence and smiled up at him. The smile didn't reach her eyes though.

____________________________________________________________  
  
The last week had been hell for all of them. The night Oliver had to go to Nanda Parbat was the worst. 

_Oliver had called Roy, Diggle and Laurel and asked them to meet him at his penthouse. Thea had been there anyways, so he could tell everybody at the same time._

_Thea had been begging him not to go, Roy and Laurel had tried to talk him out of it with everything they could think of and Diggle and Felicity had remained silent. When Thea had decided to go to bed and Roy and Laurel had left to go patrolling again, Diggle had finally spoken up._

" _You sure you wanna do this man?"_

" _I don't have a choice Digg. You know the league. They'll get me anyways. And after I just tricked myself out of being killed I don't think they'll let it go."_

" _You cannot trust them you know that, right? No matter what kind of offer this will be. I know there'll be catch."_

" _Yes, I know…" Oliver answered and pressed his lips together while taking a few steps towards John. "But thank you for pointing it out again." They hugged each other goodbye before Oliver added "I trust you to keep her safe while I'm gone."_

_Both men looked at Felicity and she blushed. Diggle just nodded and headed towards the door. "I'll be waiting for you downstairs Felicity."_

_She smiled at him before she turned to face Oliver again._

" _I hate saying 'Goodbye' to you…" Felicity confessed and had trouble keeping the tears from rolling down her cheeks._

" _Then don't say 'Goodbye'…" he smiled and hugged her one last time. "See you soon Felicity."_

_She had closed her eyes when he hugged her, causing a few tears to escape and make their way down her face. She had pulled back and brushed the tears away with the back of her hand. "See you soon…" she replied, turned around and left the penthouse without looking back. That only would have made it so much harder._

_Every day since that night, she had prayed for some sign that Oliver was alive and well. She had prayed for him to just appear in her office, in her apartment or in the foundry. Diggle, Roy and Laurel had all been tenser then usually and Thea had been a mess. Seeing her puffy face, swollen from crying, had only made it so much harder for Felicity to keep it together. She had known Thea had become such a strong young woman… seeing her being so scared had been hard._

_Things between Thea and Roy had become better lately. So that had been helping her a bit. Felicity didn't have someone to console her and take her mind off of everything for some time. Seven days had passed since Oliver was gone… again… Seven days of getting up in the morning, going to work, acting like everything was perfectly fine. Six nights of trying to get some sleep but failing miserably because she couldn't help thinking about him. Wishing he would come home soon. Wondering what the League would be doing to him. What Ra's wanted from him._  
  
___________________________________________________

It was 6 p.m. when Felicity and Diggle met in the alleyway behind Verdant to start their shift in the foundry. Roy and Laurel would be joining them in about two hours. When Felicity wanted to type in the master code to unlock the door (it was secured with a master code which was required when they first entered the foundry for the day and a security code for every entrance after that), she stopped in her tracks. Her hand started to shake immediately.

"What is it?" Diggle asked. "Felicity, is everything okay?"

"Someone's down there…"  
  
 *****************************************************************

**That was it my lovelies… who do you think made his way into the foundry? Maybe you want to tell me your guesses and your thoughts about the chapter in the comments below...  
  
** **Love, Nina**


End file.
